My grandfather used to tell us about his invisible friend, Khatzkel. All the naughty things that happened around Grampa Irv when he was a child were actually things that Khatzkel was guilty of doing, a long list of kid crimes and misbehaviors. We loved Khatzkel, he was smart-alecky and funny and probably smelled a little like a crusty, snotty-nosed kid with muddy shoes from Eastern Europe. He never seemed to get caught but I’d venture my grandfather pretty much took the fall for Khatzkel’s misdeeds.
My younger brother was particularly enamored with Khatzkel, probably because he had quite the list of naughty deeds and a propensity for getting caught and not really punished himself. I used wonder what Khatzkel looked like but then I realized he probably looked exactly like my little brother, an amber-headed child of divorce who just couldn’t figure out why certain things were just so terrible. When my mother, with pleading in her voice, asked his 4th grade teacher if he would ever go to college, the teacher answered, “Maybe…if he can stay out of jail.” Sigh…
I imagine Khatzkel nodding in appreciation at the nuances of negotiating punishment when there was only one (the red-headed kid) who got caught when a gaggle of boys threw rocks into a pool and ruined the liner, or maybe Khatzkel was a bit jealous when his admirer was pulled out of a crowd of extras by a very famous director and given camera time as a smirking student turning in a trashed textbook just before school let out for the summer in what has become a summer teen movie staple . It was probably sheer pride that it literally took an act of Congress, albeit the State of Ohio, to allow my brother to graduate from high school after coming up a half a credit short. Either way, telling the two apart was close to impossible. They both needed a good “potch on tuchus.”
I don’t remember ever hearing that Khatzkel actually payed for his crimes and I’m pretty certain my brother slipped any real punishment the majority of the time. There is a special skill set there that I don’t and will probably never have.
…and that is why I am calling this blog ” Khatzkel Did It.” I hope to capture just a touch of that magic cuz’ I just can’t do the time…
Khatzkel Did It 